The people who run HNL have been going out to bars and clubs since they were 18 (thanks Providence) so we all have a pretty good idea about what sets a bar or club apart from the next one. Here is the criteria for being on the list of the Best Boston Night Spots.
1. AAP! Average Attractiveness of Patrons. This factor is not talked about as much because people don’t want to sound shallow but lets all be honest, there are some places you may have gone many times and attractive members of the opposite sex are far and few between. Then there are the places that every time you go there seems to be swarms of attractive people. This plays in to anyone’s thought process on where they are heading out to on a given night. Maybe sometimes people will even go to a place that they know has less attractive people because they don’t want to spend a ton of time getting ready.
2. Atmosphere – This also plays a huge role in what makes a place special to me. How nice is the inside? Do they have cool furniture, decor and lighting schemes? Are the floors all sticky? Are the bathrooms clean? Also, the set up of a place is a very important part of the atmosphere. If there is a dance floor, you don’t want it to be too small and crowded but you also don’t want it to be so open that you feel like you’re on display to all of the people who aren’t dancing.
3. Who Goes There?! Seriously, certain people flock to certain places and we all know it. This does not mean that if a place only plays techno that only the cast from Jersey Shore will be there. But….. I would be willing to bet you will see more gel and Ed Hardy at that place than at the upscale restaurant/bar next door. I like it when I go places and the crowds are friendly and I hate cliquey crowds. Some would rather go to a place with a group of friends and have no one bother them. My solution to that is to buy some liquor, put a disco ball and an iPod dock in your basement and invite your friends over and have a blast. You’ll save all sorts of money.
So here is the list of the Best Boston Night Spots as of right now and the reason why they are in my top 5. Some probably would be on this list had I not used and abused them in the past. Here goes:
5. Howl at the Moon (Down) – I should probably rename that title to Down (Howl at the Moon) because I think I like Down much more than the upstairs Howl. Don’t get me wrong, Howl at the Moon is buckets of fun. Especially in the sense that you can order buckets of delicious alcohol there, literally. But Down is just a little bit more my speed. Their VIP sections are nice, the backlit bar is very sexy and the people there aren’t clubrats. There just seems to be more of a friendly crowd that is looking to Dance! Now as for the upstairs, Howl is an awesome addition to Boston’s nightlife scene with the dualing piano thing they have going on. Also, there seems to have always been a bunch of attractive females both upstairs and downstairs each time I have been there.
4. Ocean Club – I love this place and I secretly hate it here. Here is why. I love it because it somehow draws the most attractive people in the New England out of the woodwork. Me and my friends joke around saying, “Where are these people the rest of the year? In hibernation?” I know that was not funny and it was out of context but seriously. 9s and 10s are everywhere when this Memorial Day – Labor Day spot opens up. Also, the who scene and atmosphere is just gorgeous. There is sand, to emulate a beach, luxurious cabanas and little wading pools with fountains spouting from them and cool lighting schemes around them. There is a ton of bars here and different dance areas with different DJs spinning different music. The cons: the gorillajuicehead/guidette to normal person ratio is a little out of control. If they did piss tests at the door half the dudes would not get in and that can make it a little uncomfortable but overall this place is mint.
3. Bond – Despite the fact that I may not fit in as good at Bond as I may at the next place (I’m a little young for here and my pockets are a little thinner than most of Bond’s regulars) but I can’t help but be drawn back here. Bond consistently has one of the most attractive crowds in Boston and the atmosphere is very social. Whether you are with a group, or just a couple pals, it seems like we always meet someone here. If I had game, Bond would be a great pickup bar. What caught me off guard the most about Bond is the bangers coming from the DJ booth. I don’t know if it is always the same DJ there or they just know how to pick em, but their DJ gives me a strong urge to dance but I control it since I am amongst civilized people here and do not want to make a mockery of myself.
2. Wonder Bar – This mayyyyy seem out of place compared to the 3 bars above but Wonder Bar has never disappointed and I don’t think I can say that about many, if any places besides here. The bar is nice, spacious, with seating off to the side and a cool downstairs (that I never really venture in to) but the lighting and bar downstairs are really cool. Why I love Wonder Bar is because around 12 or so, the dance floor always picks up, there’s always people who can dance there, and the DJ is NASTY! He always has something new and stays playing good dance music. In other words, at most bars that have DJs and dance floors and even some clubs, you have to put up with a portion of the night where the DJ just plays filth top 40 rubbish that has no rhythm to it and it ruins your flow. This really doesn’t happen here. Oh, and I think AAP is about an 8 or 9 here too on the Boston Scale.
1. Gypsy Bar – The Gyps, as we call it is number one for a reason. I may have been here more times than any other place I have ever been in Boston and nothing has changed. Consistency like that is VERY difficult for clubs to maintain. In fact, the same bum is still out there saying the same stuff to the people waiting in line here trying to trick idiots out of money getting them to actually believe he has clout with the bouncers. He was there the first time I ever went here 4 or 5 years ago and he was still there when I went a few weeks ago. Now that is consistency. The cover is still the same, the bouncer is still the same, the music is always good (not exactly my type but good), there is still always good looking girls in there (AAP is 9) and the interior decor and atmosphere is second to none. They have a tank with pink jellyfish in it. If you want a guaranteed good night out then I would say this is the place for just about anybody.
We all obviously have our own opinions, and I doubt that many people would be able to agree on a top 5 Boston Night Spots, never mind agreeing about what order they go in. The reason why I made the list of the Best Boston Night Spots is more so if you are starting out and looking for somewhere to go, or might have an interest in trying a new spot, maybe you haven’t been to one of these five places so you will check one out! Until next time.